So recently, I’ve been adapting a “vegetarian lifestyle”. One I’ve loved, one that I secretly promoted, and one that I only started at the beginning of the summer due to a past scare with my anorexia being promoted by the weight loss I had while I was a vegetarian.
Now with starting school, things have been a lot different than they’ve been in the past.
As I stated in my post about what’s been going on, my eating has been all over the place; weird cravings, full bellies and a lot of discomfort. I did a reevaluation of myself, and decided that I really needed to start looking at what I’ve been eating, and what I can do to stop the crazy food intakes that happen too frequently.
Here at school, there are not many options for vegetarians, let alone running vegetarians who need the right nutrients ALL the time. For the past weeks, I’ve been consuming the same things over and over and over again- which isn’t healthy for my body, either.
I’ve decided to reintroduce some meats into my diet for right now, and then when I return home for breaks I can practice vegetarianism as much as I want, as I’ll have access to all I need. It makes me upset, but at the same time, I need to listen to my head- meaning that I need the variety right now.
I wanted to make this post just so people knew and weren’t surprised if I posted something with meat. I still am a huge advocate for animals and love them to death. I’m also making sure that what I consume is well-treated and fed meat. Gotta have respect.
For now, I need to help myself until things can calm down and I can figure out my whole ordeal.
I think I can actually say I’m a college student now, and to me, that’s pretty neat considering I’ve been dreaming of this opportunity for a long time. It’s been a transition for sure, but one I’m really starting to enjoy.
But before I embark on this four year adventure, I wanted to revisit something that’s bothered me over the summer; something I’ve come across here at my campus this first week; and something I plan on working on to better myself once again.
I preach balance, and for months on end, I lived it in the best way possible. Unfortunately this summer, I came across a road of late-night food shoveling and some nasty times of eating way too much; and continuing because I already dabbled in it. I don’t want to label it bingeing, but to some extent I think I am or was. And that concerned me deeply.
Yet I couldn’t change my habits. It was hard and I found myself really feeling bad about what I was doing with my food. I love food, and here I felt as though I had begun to abuse it again, just in a different way than I did two years ago.
My main thoughts that provoked it were probably due to emotional and stress problems leading up to such a big change in my life. At points, I’d think- “this is okay because I had a bad day” or “I’m stressed so… ben and jerry’s?”. These thoughts are far from what I preach, and as the summer had begun to end, I really was upset by how it played out.
I want to make something clear as I continue. I don’t see this as a “oh god I’m going to get fat” problem. As a girl who has learned to respect and love her body, I want to be far away from that type of thinking. It creates a problem, though, when I respect my body so much, yet push my stomach to limits and eat foods that hurt my system because I don’t know how to control it. That’s where my problems arise.
I took a lot of time to evaluate this before I even thought about posting; but I know many young people and older people alike struggle at some points with this. As a kid now going into college, I wanted to offer what I’m doing to help the situation. In no way am I a professional. But I am a human.
I first looked at what’s been going on, and that’s a lot. I’m moving away from home, leaving friends and family, encountering new obstacles with food, fast meals, fast times… yada yada. Then I came up with what I think I need to do.
Journal when emotions and stressors come into play. This is HUGE! It gives you a moment to pep talk or to hash out feelings you may throw other places.
Evaluate how I’m feeling and why I feel the need to reach for food.
Enjoy what I’m eating; and not think about when it will be gone or how I would want more.
Start preparing and trying new things. Being in a rut causes your body to have more cravings than normal.
Honor my cravings with healthier options, that way when I do reach for a “treat” or a “balanced” type meal, it feels good. Not bad.
I’m hoping I can make it work because I truly love the life of balance and I can’t wait to find it again. Let me know if there’s any questions or concerns you ever need answered and remember…
It’s been incredibly long since I’ve posted, but it’s due to good things coming into play. Life has been full of hustle and bustle; grad parties on the weekends, full days of work during the week, and of course long runs, cooking and baking…. what else can you expect!
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and it has to deal with changes coming into play as I begin my journey moving forward into college, as well as life after college. I’m leaving home, and am starting to walk down the path of what I may do for the rest of my life; and that’s incredibly scary! But while it’s scary, it’s also incredibly exciting and I can’t wait to share my view on change. Continue reading “Change and Moving Forward”→
I’ve been wanting to write a post on balance for quite some time, yet I never took the time to actually begin it…
As a health food advocate, I practice it everyday. Whether this be making sure to get my greens and fruits in every day, or focus on no processed items, each day of the week I go to bed happy with my health.
But, I have not always been someone that has preached this message, and unfortunately it took me a long time to get here.
A few years ago, I was an excessive eater. I ate at any moment food was available to me, no matter if I was hungry or not. This, unfortunately cause a lot of weight gain to occur, and by freshman year, I was miserable. Yet, I had no idea how to change what was going on in my life.
On the left, just before I started my “health” kick.
I opened up to my mom, reaching out after we went to the doctor who told me that my weight was a little over what it should be. We started to work on eating healthier, and maybe try to add some light exercise, as entering high school I gave up my sports of soccer and softball.
Unfortunately, I took losing weight to an extreme. It started slow for sure, and I was doing what I thought was right by consuming “diet” foods that led into skipping meals… I ran three times a week, and then converted to just doing the elliptical and treadmill at the gym because I could then see the calories I burned to an “exact amount”.
Slipping into an eating disorder and exercise obsession is a very touchy and uncomfortable experience for a lot of reasons; one being that your relationship with food is never the same. Instead of seeing food as fuel, I saw it as a monster that would ruin the physique I had built up. Yet, as I continued to avoid it, the body I once had, was slipping away. In it’s place, protruded ribs, frail hair and little muscle.
By the time the next Spring had hit, I weighed so little that sometimes, my head would spin from a small movement. I barely could focus on anything besides the food I would consume, and running was out of the question. It was unfortunate to watch things I worked so hard for dissipate so quickly, yet I had no idea how to get my life back.
At a very low weight, being social was hard as I rarely wanted to be around people
For a start, I began therapy and working with a dietitian. To say that was easy is a complete lie, and I did NOT do well at first, by any means! It took months for me to even get close to gaining weight, yet when I did and I started to stretch my comfort zone, my life began falling back into place. Slowly but surely.
The year of recovery I went through helped me development the passion I now have for health, wellness and BALANCE. Yes, BALANCE! My favorite word ever! (can you tell??) Each week, I worked on what I could eat and how I could build up the body I wanted by opening my eyes to the amazing world of food and nutrition. I started to see food as this beautiful thing: Whole foods, no diet products, and freaking great tasting stuff that made me happy. This led ME to happiness, and although I’m not perfect, it’s the start of a beautiful life.
She gon’ get you girl! Run for the nutbutter!I started to eat better meals, develop a love and passion for food and now, am a FOODIE! Not only that, but the food I consume fuels some pretty great runs, as well.
Now, what is my definition of balance… well, you see, balance to me is honoring your cravings and enjoying your life WITHOUT the need to constantly revolve around the food you are consuming. Example: If I have a smoothie for breakfast, and avocado toast for lunch, but later I want a dang big bowl of red lentil pasta covered in almond milk cheese, I’m a-okay with that. What I mean is that a lot of people focus on OMG CARBS!-which is not a bad thing- but, I prefer to listen to what my body wants. If one day I skip weights at the gym and take my dogs for a walk, I will not combust into a pile of ash.
Healthy living is taking the time to care about you. It’s about taking care of yourself, giving the essentials necessary for your life to continue on. And the thing is, life is far too short to consume your everyday with being PERFECT. No one is perfect, and there will not be a day when a perfect individual comes along. The best you can do is to live your life happy and healthy. I learned to love whole foods, take my nutrition seriously; but when my friends call me up to grab froyo or Tasty Treat ice cream, I’m not going to flip because it isn’t organic.
What I’m trying to say is that to love your body, you have to trust your body. The same goes for yourself. Trust your instincts, and stick to the values YOU believe in. This is what balance is. Focus on you, and I promise, the rest will fall into place as it should.
It’s going one way, then it decides to spin another, leaving you on the other end going “WTF..?”
That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. WTF? It seems comical to say, but seriously. I feel like this little slang term has become a straight up emotional state of so many people, and so hear I am on this Monday evening of my last high school ((tears)) winter break to talk about this emotion, WTF. Continue reading “Feelings of WTF (Monday’s thoughts)”→
balancing positive strides 
